Ok 1st off, who exactly is “we” in “we have to go on a diet”, and more importantly, why is there salad on the plate where my food should be.
When the internet is down I turn my bed into a make-believe boat and play Life of Pi with the cat
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Now I’m REALLY glad Monica chose Chandler over Richard.
‘Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the mall
There were multiple reports of trampling injuries.
what’s your pitch?
“so this guy steals from the rich…”
“and gives to the poor”
nice. what’s his name?
haha I love it
At least one of these will be out of date before the week’s up.
If someone is bothering you with unneccessary calls to your cell number, post their number on eBay with the ad “iPhone 5S for $1 only”
what do i do next
I’m just sayin’, corn dogs are gonna have to pick a side when the shit goes down between corn and dogs.
My greatest fear is that I’ll be reported as a missing person and my family guesstimates my weight way higher than what I actually weigh
I dont’t want to die a virgin because that means I’ll have to have sex with terrorists.