When you order 20 bananas and end up with 20 *bunches*…

You Might Also Like


I just whispered “Come at me, bro” to a bug and it ran towards me, so now I’m in my car driving away from my old life.


Pepsi and Coke can’t even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along. Pffftt.


me: [in bed, hears a weird noise] wtf was that?!
dracula: [bursts out of my closet]
me: did you hear that too?!
dracula: yeah wtf was that?!


Cheat on me, you can’t even have cold water. A legend.


How dare you complain about your life? Someone’s mom is Snooki.



Woman in convenience store to her boyfriend: If you really loved me, you’d buy me a lemur.


[movie theater]
*reaches into wife’s purse*
*pulls out lasagna*
me: Told you it’d work


If you watch Intervention backwards, it’s about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion.


me: (texting boss) we still on for work today?
boss: yes. you dont have to text me this every morning. we’re “on” for work every day mon-fri