@WilliamAder: When your pet is staring at you, it's probably thinking "I wonder how long those things live."
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@itweetmaya: If Obama wins I'm leaving the country. If Romney wins I'm leaving the country. This is not a political Tweet I just want to travel.
@Cherhole: There was a girl pushing an suv this morning while the guy steered. Feminists everywhere must be scissoring in victory.
@LifeUnPinterest: *Texting* HIM: Do you have any snacks? ME: In my panty. H: Lol, you misspelled "pantry." M: Nope.
@theshamingofjay: 2065 *puts cell phone in radiation free charging box* "You know we used to sleep with these right by our heads" 3 eyed grandson "really?"