@BoomBoomBetty: When your spouse comes to you excited about a toilet seat, it’s best to remind yourself this person will most likely decide when to pull your life support plug someday so you get excited with them about that toilet seat.
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@NrouteHQ: Kilauea volcano is 100,000 yrs old and is active I’m 48 and I missed my show because the remote was on the other sofa
@jonnysun: ME: my ideal first date? well to me it dosent matter wat we do as long as we share a conection JOB INTERVIEWER: i meant how soon can u start
@ddsmidt: In order to stop teeth grinding, it’s recommended you sleep with your jaw slightly ajar. While you’re at it, you may as well lay out a welcome mat for spiders.
@AimeeHelene1: My diet plan consists of multiple naps. Because you can't stuff your face when you're sleeping.