@CruisinSoozan: When you’re eating chips and dip there’s always the search for the “strong” chip to head into the dip to save the broken, weaker chips dying in the dip.
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@LionJenkins: Autocorrect just changed "Selfies" to "Selfless" so I just took a picture without me in it.
@AndyAsAdjective: *walking into Home Depot for 2nd time today* EMPLOYEE: back again? forget something? ME: um, you remember if I brought a kid in here with me last time?
@UncleDuke1969: [bedtime] SON: I want a monster story. ME: Sure. This one’s called “The evil co-worker that reheated fish in the microwave.”