@Jenny4ashley

Whenever I see a hot girl on the streets I’m like HOLY CRAP I’M OUTSIDE.

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@Underchilde

One time, a woman admitted she was wrong, but the government covered it up.

@glenna_opt

she died doing what she loved: looking at her phone while crossing the street

@KateWhineHall

My son feels about broccoli the way I feel about having to make a phone call.

@JPLFR80

People who say all you need is love probably already stocked up on Doritos

@ObscureGent

The most unbelievable thing about Die Hard is that the office Christmas Party is happening on Christmas Eve.

@BookishBunny

Pretty much the only time I WANT to hear about your ex is if she’s standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I’m good.

@AndLookPretty

These people on Hoarders knew a camera crew was coming. You’d think they’d tidy up a bit.

@SondraDeeMe

[diary, day 3642 on deserted island]
How can I still be fat?

@ErrenMichaels

*logs into Facebook
*looks at pictures of people hugging their boyfriends
*comments ‘is that your dad’ on all of them
*logs out of Facebook

@TheCleftonTwain

WHAT ARE WE?

Writers!

WHAT ARE WE WRITING?

Snacks!

WAIT, WHAT?

Snacks first, THEN writing!

No, wait, coffee/tea too!

Maybe a nap beforehand!

THEN WRITING?

No, then Twitter

THEN WRITING!

Too late! Time for bed! Writing tomorrow

#amwriting
#writerslife
#writingcommunity