@ilovepie84: Whenever I test drive a car and the Salesman decides to come along, I lock the doors lock eyes and say "We ride together, we Die together."
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@DrunksWithGuns: Her: I'm leaving... Me: Good. Go. I never loved you in the first place. Her:...for the store. Me: Oh.....Pick me up some Funyuns?
@WheelTod: I'd been using my new hand-mirror for over 6 months before I realized it was actually a framed stock photo of a much less handsome man.
@Not_The_Rule: Who called it a pillow fight and not assault with a bedly weapon? Thanks for following.