@WilliamRodgers: Where were these Terrorists when Seth Rogen did the Green Hornet?!?!?
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@Jesssicle: *brushes teeth for seventeen hours straight before dentist appointment* "Jessica, there is an entire Oreo behind your second molar."
@paulablu22: Telling my daugthers date that "she has lice and its very contagious the closer you get to her." *Correct way to parent.
@Pork_Chop_Hair: Me: Finally! A fridge with an automatic ice dispenser! This truly is the good life! Also me: *reaches in to grab cubes with my hand EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.*