@1evilidiot: Which side of the plate does the phone go on?
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@c12h22o11balls: Me: One last drink and then I'm off to the petting zoo Her: Aren't you too drunk to bring the kids to a petting zoo? Me: I have kids?
@ScottLinnen: Always keep an axe by the front door so I can give the other Jehovah something awesome to witness.
@DaddyJew: Me:I gotta go home. Im bleeding & my computers broken Boss:looks like u just slammed ur head thru the computer screen Me:what is this CSI?