@1evilidiot: Which side of the plate does the phone go on?
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@jergarl: [first date] her: are you financially stable? me:*pulls an avocado out of my pocket and slowly places it on the table
@Cheeseboy22: If you're wondering what all these scratches on my chest are from, it's because my cat hates to get in the hot tub with me.
@Roxtalled: *stands by cucumbers at grocery store *feels intimidated *hides by baby carrots *gets ego boost