@DevilryFun: While I might feel unsure how to react, my middle finger is well versed in handling stupid people.
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@eyeswidebutt: did you write "call Gary in HR for lots of really disappointing and hairy sex" on the bathroom stall? [wearing my "I hate gary" tshirt]: no
@Bownuggets: Turtles sniff tails to find mates but when I do it, it's "disturbing" & I "need to leave yoga," or "at least wait til I'm off the treadmill"
@ShortSleeveSuit: HIM: you wouldn’t understand ME: *takes a long drag off a cigarette* i’m a flamingo, daryl, if anything i overstand
@chuuew: [emergency room] NURSE: It seems you've swallowed an abacus? ME: She told me it's what's on the inside that counts WIFE: I hate you