@momjeansplease: While taking a nap with my daughter, my 4 year old son creeps into my bed, fiddles with my bra hooks for 5 minutes, then gives up and passes out snoring next to me. No need for a paternity test, he’s definitely my husband’s son.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@gianni_bcn: If you think you are having a bad day just remenber the guy on the Titanic who falls off the ship and hits the propellor on the way down.
@funflaps: BATMAN: I was lost as a child and raised by bats ANTMAN: I was lost as a child and raised by ants SUPERMAN: I was lost as a child and raised by soup
@djdarrellripley: When I die I don't want a big funeral. I'd just like a few of my close friends to get together and try to bring me back to life...