Barnabas had a lazy eye.
The other, however, was a real go-getter.
white people get red in the winter cause the wind too spicy
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Me: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the …
Mirror: Comb your hair.
okay, i admit it. you’re wrong.
Obama: Who were you talking to before he came here for the meeting?
Biden: Young Metro.
Obama: Why did you call-
Biden: Shhh. I got this.
[god inventing animals]
okay here’s a new one. It’s an umbrella
made out of jello
and it electrocutes things
Apparently even if you delete the drunk text messages you sent last night from your phone, the other person can still see them.
Female dragonflies will fake their own death if faced w/ unwanted attention from a male dragonfly.
You can learn so much from nature
If I learned anything from Forest Gump it’s that people who love to run are retarded.