Crows are like if a witch decided “I’m a bird now, too”
Who are we?
What do we want?
WE DON’T KNOW!
When do we want it?
You Might Also Like
The best answer to an American Apparel salesperson asking you if you’re looking for anything specific is, “the bottom half of a shirt.”
Never thought I’d have to know a guy who knows a guy to buy toilet paper.
Me: I made you a playlist…
Her: OMG! THAT’S SO ROMANTIC!
Me: It only has songs about food.
What if Aliens don’t want to visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.
Time flies when you throw your alarm clock out the window.
BUT GHOSTBUSTERS NEVER GAVE US THEIR NUMBER.
My imagination ran away with me, but we’re both out of shape and didn’t get very far.
Most arachnophobes end up secretly being spiders themselves
ME: What’s wrong? I told you I have prosthetic legs
DATE: Yes it’s just…I didn’t think you meant
ME *scuttles closer*
DATE: 6 of them