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@TheToddWilliams: Who called him Spider-Man and not Netflix?
@ryaninco: Forgive me Twitter for I have sinned, it's been twenty minutes since my last Tweet.
@Lmao: What I said: I forgot my book. What the teacher heard: I hate school, I hate you & I don't want to make something out of my life.
@realHamOnWry: I still remember when airlines gave you two choices; smoking, and chain smoking.
@novicefather: "Homie don't fleek doe," I say to a group of teenagers, hoping it means something.
@TheAlexNevil: Marriage is about understanding what irritates your spouse and using it strategically.