Dog Walking Business Idea:
1. Train every dog to walk another dog.
2. Put the dogs in a dog walking circle.
3. GO TO A MOVIE!
who called it an advertising campaign and not an adventure
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I love the smell of a camp fire. It reminds me of the night we kille….
…..I just love smell of campfires.
my phone: here’s a
n o t i f i c a t i o n
me: not now my little radiation rectangle, not now
KID: I’m a brat!
WILLY WONKA: I am going to have you murdered.
I was ringing this 0800 number for two days before I realised it was their opening hours.
Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years
Me: punching a goose in its mouth
Interviewer: you know actually we’ve already filled the position
Me: *clenches fist* was it a goose
When I see people running to catch the elevator I’m on I yell “HURRY! YOU GOTTA SMELL THIS!”.
Im on a date I want to leave how do i leave without-nevermind I said that out loud he left
she died as she lived: screaming “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HAVE ANY OF YOUR SCREENWRITERS EVER MET A HUMAN WOMAN?????” at her computer screen