@UnFitz

Who called them reply guys instead of first responders?

You Might Also Like

@leechee420

If Reese Witherspoon doesn’t call her poop “Reese’s Feces” she’s missing out on a clear opportunity to be awesome.

@TweetPotato314

Jesus: Honor my sacrifice by refusing meat on all holy days and each Friday.

John the fisherman: *slides Jesus $20*

Jesus: Also, Fish isn’t meat.

@PaperWash

God: kill your son
Abraham: uh…ok
God: holy shit I’m jk
Abraham: umm…
God: I’ll probably kill mine tho lol
Abraham: wtf?

@MaryKoCo

Comment on every picture of someone’s dog, “What is this”

@McMcmadmac

My mothers nearly 80 and she still doesn’t need glasses. She drinks right out of the bottle!

@just1fool

Most of my life consists of trying to keep up with what’s not cool so I can be sure to avoid any small talk.