If Reese Witherspoon doesn’t call her poop “Reese’s Feces” she’s missing out on a clear opportunity to be awesome.
Who called them reply guys instead of first responders?
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Jesus: Honor my sacrifice by refusing meat on all holy days and each Friday.
John the fisherman: *slides Jesus $20*
Jesus: Also, Fish isn’t meat.
God: kill your son
God: holy shit I’m jk
God: I’ll probably kill mine tho lol
An atheist: I am an atheist btw
Comment on every picture of someone’s dog, “What is this”
My mothers nearly 80 and she still doesn’t need glasses. She drinks right out of the bottle!
I want to run away and live in a forest but like with my phone.
*Tucks shirt in*
My guess is it’s either Geppetto’s workshop or a sperm bank.
Most of my life consists of trying to keep up with what’s not cool so I can be sure to avoid any small talk.