My Phone autocorrected “wish you were here” to “wish you were beer” and I sent it anyways
Who do I have to marry to get a girlfriend around here
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When I was a kid I used to yell at my grandma for drinking and driving and she was like “it’s Diet Coke” and I was like “but the tv said!” So what I’m saying is, kids really don’t know shit
I was tailgating a slow driver earlier. He brake checked, flipped me off, and when that didn’t work he turned his police lights on. Jerk.
This dude was just posed here when we drove by lmao
Karmadillo is the superhero we need. 😂😂😂😂
My cat just winked at me and now it’s awkward because I only see her as a friend.
It’s like 10,000 goons
When all you need
Is a knight
It’s just sad how often I
see zookeepers breaking their own
‘Dont Feed the Animals’ rule.
Some of you change your avi like I change my underwear. Every three days.
My phone only recognizes my fingerprint if it has cheese on it