John Hammond: *proudly* We spared no expense
Me: Your security team is literally one Australian dude in short shorts
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If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader then she would be known as Ella Vader…….
I apparently said “keratin” instead of “ketamine” when discussing treatment options with my psychiatrist, so the bad news is that I remain a terminal depressive, but wow, my frizz is really well controlled.
You know you’re old when you watch a horror movie where annoying, partying college kids get murdered and you identify with the killer.
I’m from the 80’s. We ate cookies instead of deleting them.
Favstar is like that uncle we all
have, he never works, but comes
around every few months asking
Tried to convince the kids helping me to make vegetable soup would be as fun as going to the playground. It did not work.
North and South
Reasons I put my kids to bed on time:
3) They need their rest.
2) Routine is important.
1) “Game of Thrones” is on.