@papasuncle: Who names their kid Russell? Like hey kid you're a noise. Look after your sister kurplop boing
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@fro_vo: [restaurant] WAITER: here’s your check ME: can we split it WAITER: yes of course DATE: *reaches for card* ME: no it’s cool me and the waiter got this
@welone1: Before you judge a woman, walk a mile in her shoes. After that who cares? She's a mile away and you've got her shoes.