What do we want?
FLEXIBLE WORK SCHEDULES THAT ACCOMMODATE FAMILY LIFE!
When do we want it?
[Unintelligible yelling of different dates]
Whoa whoa whoa, I thought that was OUR thing!
-me to my favorite cashier when she smiles at other customers
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Why isn’t Spiderman’s greatest enemy named Shoeman?
All I need is to hear those 3 special words
“Want a sandwich?”
Sorry I chased you three city blocks but I wanted to meet your dog
My one night stand is pissed because I broke the other one.
me: see the wrist strap stops you from dropping the wiimote
voldemort: this is brilliant
harry potter: expelliarmus!
voldemort: [wand dangling from wrist] lmao nice try
When I need you, I close my eyes and I’m with you.
Until I hit the guardrail. Then sparks fly and I swerve back onto the road.
A car gets better traction in the snow if you throw a couple of coworkers in the trunk.
Just spent a nice relaxing hour on facebook, writing “you Two look fantastic!!” on all weekend selfies with three girls or more in it.