Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft office is in big trouble. You have my Word.

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*annual sexual harassment seminar.
Boss: We need more seats.
Me: *taps lap* I’ve got a place for someone to sit.
Boss: *sighing* You’re the reason we have these meetings.


In hindsight, naming my family portrait studio Let Me Shoot Your Kids, was probably not the best business decision.


The computer keyboard was invented before the mouse. It was a precursor.


My 8 year old daughter can already read at a 5th grade level and ignore me at a 12th grade level.


There once was a man on zoom
Whose stomach had started to fume
He really had to toot
Forgot to hit mute
A problem when your living room is also the conference room


OJ Simpson now has a Twitter Account. I’m sure he’ll kill it here


Doctor: how did that vase get in there, again?


Banning us to the couch is not as bad as you believe it is ladies. It makes us feel manly. Like we’re camping. With an angry bear close by.