@Mom_Overboard

Why are charming men called lady killers and not Lassassins?

Why are charming men called lady killers and not Lassassins?

- @Mom_Overboard

You Might Also Like

@salmarch79

Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.

@ClichedOut

Baby Judge: You’re sentenced to 3 jars of strained peas.

*baby bailiffs drop their squeaky toys*
*an infant juror spits up*

@rolldiggity

INTERVIEWER: “How would you describe yourself?”
ME: “Verbally, but I’ve also prepared a dance.”

@GingerHotDish

I’m sorry, but I’m never gonna apologize for who I am.

*except just then*

@jazmasta

*gives ex wife’s next door neighbour a drum kit for Christmas*

@Cheeseboy22

When the lady at the DMV asked if I wanted to be an organ donor, I told her, “Yes, but only if I die.”

@Skoog

saying “eat the rich”

-depressing
-been done
-makes people think you’re a cannibal

saying “ok boomer”

-fresh
-new
-hurtful to a generation that ruined the planet and economy

@Brampersandon_

[coaching little league]
KID: did I do good today,coach
ME: you ate 4 dandelions in the 3rd inning alone, Brayden

@Donna_McCoy

Forgot to take off my makeup and woke up looking like Cyndi Lauper from 1983.

@momsense_ensues

Having a conversation with my oldest we came to this impasse:

5: No mom, not chicken the animal, chicken the food!

Me: Oh man, buddy…I’ve got bad news for you.