Why are people upset about the Starbucks cup and not the fact that they are paying $7 for coffee?

You Might Also Like


Husband: Why are you always talking to yourself?

Me: Because she agrees with me.

Also me, to me: Is he always like this?


Remember kids, if you’re driving in the snow and start skidding, turn into the direction of the cheapest car.


Woman: Does Viagra work?

Pharmacist: Yes

Woman: Can you get it over the counter?

Pharmacist: Yes if I take two!


You’re never gonna believe this, but I feel negatively about the day of the week when I have to stop relaxing and resume working.


Sorry I’m late, there was a dad yelling at his teenage son for buying $90 jeans and I had to hear every word of it.


*gives ex wife’s next door neighbour a drum kit for Christmas*


Me: Let’s role play. You be a jogger out for a run, & I’ll be the body you stumble across.
Him: So you’re planning on just laying there, like always.


I like that the doctor always asks if I’m a smoker. When I say yes, he tells me I should quit.

No shit? Thanks. Here’s all my money.