@aveuaskew: "Why are the balloon bouquets more expensive than packaged balloons? It's just air!"
Exactly
"What?"
It's inflation
"I hate you"
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@TheDairylandDon: Mah Dearest Emma, War on Christmas is hell. This morn, I saw 7 elves stabbed with 1 menorah. I fear this nog soaked yuletide may nevah end.
@AnniemuMary: Dear Cereal Makers, Exactly how tall do you think kitchen cabinets shelves are?
@LisaMcAlister1: Instead of saying, "YOLO", try saying, "Carpe Diem". You won't sound like a douche andddd, you won't sound like a douche.
@Beer_Blonde_: A younger man said I have a smokin hot body for an older woman... I'm not sure if I should thank him or put him in a time-out.
@sageboggs: It's like my father always used to say, "[years of silent disappointment]"
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