At my funeral, please make my dead body do the ‘walking down stairs behind a couch’ into the grave
Why are they called drug mules instead of methengers?
You Might Also Like
First person to find a tooth in the nacho cheese gets a free tooth
KFC Cashier: I hope your family enjoys this 12 piece meal
My daughter just found the iron in the laundry room and asked “What is this? Some kind of olden days coffee pot?”
When do I get to go to heaven?
My dad says that if I don’t stop typing so loudly, he’s gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK
“Get your fax straight!” – a tweet that would have been so funny in 1987
If I haven’t said something mildly offensive today I’m sorry and I promise to try harder
I traced the call. It was phone-shaped.
Me: My world is suddenly reduced to a few hundred square feet of space.
Hamster: Poor baby.
My pregnant wife texted me a selfie in a new dress and asked “Does it make my butt look big?” I texted back “Noo!” My phone autocorrect my response to “Moo!”
Please send help!