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@Tups13: Why are they called library fines and not hush money?
@ericsshadow: If being successful was an amusement park, I'm the kid that drove his bumper car in the corner and can't get out.
@BonesHer: Few things are creepier than someone saying "I know" after you introduce yourself.
@PondHockeyPro: Her: One day you'll regret this!
Me: Way ahead of ya.
@Awk0Tacoo: *Tries to get makeup off*
Makeup: I have a boyfriend.
@Darlainky: Dear Santa,
Please send gift cards. Your taste has gotten significantly worse in recent years.