
does anyone know what to do if you carve a pumpkin that is too scary. i cant go in my kitchen
why are we mad at Beyonce for cultural appropriation when we could be mad that she made us listen to a Coldplay song?
does anyone know what to do if you carve a pumpkin that is too scary. i cant go in my kitchen
[planning heist]
Me: We’ll need the element of surprise.
Neil deGrasse Tyson: [appears] Actually, such an element does not exist. Hi, I’m Ne
*presses close elevator button*
*presses close elevator button*
*presses close elevator button*
*presses close elevator button*
*presses close elevator button*Wife (out of breath): Thanks for holding the elevator open
Me: No problem
Kiss her in the middle of her sentence
chicks dig when you visit them in jail
Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I’ve gotta go find my clothes.
They say milk is good for your teeth..you know what else is good for your teeth..minding your own damn buisness
In star trek not one of those snobs orders a grilled cheese sandwich from the replicator smh
[galileo’s wife walks in]
*quickly pointing the telescope from the neighbor’s window to the sky*
i was just studying the… phases of venus.
*intercom comes on* “Would the owner of a white Jetta with headlight eyelashes please report to the front desk so u can be shot in the face”