Guess who I ran into today, Billy.
Your dog, son. I hit your dog with the car.
Why Can’t I Find Out Anything About This Superb Owl #superbowl
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I propose we rename our seasons:
• Kinda Nice For A Bit
Well it took forever but I just paid the pizza guy entirely with the quarters I found behind his ears.
I was having a perfectly lovely Wednesday until someone told me it’s Monday.
Text exchange: me- we need eggs. hub- how many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
I don’t make spelling and grammatical errors I invent new languages. You ignorant Count.
*takes a hit off the joint
This is the best baked sale ever
“It’s a BAKE sale”
Tell me about it
me: yes please
her: how do you take it?
amazon trucks should play a lil song so we know they’re coming
A magician begins pulling scarf after scarf after scarf out of his front tuxedo pocket until Steven Tyler slowly fades away from all photos.