@TheMichaelRock: Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
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@iGreenMonk: Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about.
@XplodingUnicorn: 2-year-old: *stares at a pregnant lady in church* Me: She has a baby in her tummy. 2: *whispering* She ate it.
@MythicPicnic: My wife asked me about the Oxford comma and now she wants me to go back to my usual brooding silence.