@clindsaysway: Why do all these blurry people keep telling me I'm drunk?
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@FishySnowborder: I like my women with curves. Those skinny ones are alway mad cause they're hungry.
@notorious_stars: When a celebrity dies, who's the helpful psychopath that immediately changes all the "is"s to "was"s on their Wikipedia page?
@druuuck: NASA : we were wrong , there ARE 9 planets in the Solar System PLUTO: I'm back, baby! NASA: because we found a new one! PLUTO: SON OF A
@SortaBad: Glad my car insurance company requires a 10 character password to log-in. Wouldn't want someone to hack in and...pay my insurance bill