@KentWGraham: Why do doctor's offices take your blood pressure AFTER weighing you? Of course it's going to be high then.
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@TheHyyyype: wife: we're hanging out with hannah and her husband tonight me: ugh why? that dude sucks, all he talks about is horses wife: i'm sure he'll have something else to talk about this time [later] hannah's husband: hey me: that's it i'm out
@jdforshort: College guy: How do you like it? Me: Salty...of course *slaps down $20 CG: We'll take two pretzels with salt ~Get outta the gutter pervs
@UNTRESOR: If there really was a Purge, and all crime was legal for one night, I'd probably do something super crazy, like loiter.
@DominicStraw: "No! Don't go into the church! Nooo!" "Honey, what movie are you watching?" "Our wedding video."