@painted_eel: why do i have to be asleep to eat spiders
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@OkigboXL: PSA: Don't EVER let your printer know that you've waited until the last minute to print something out and you're in hurry because they can sense fear.
@tastefactory: Great Halloween costume idea for couples: Go in a tandem Titanic costume, then get into a big fight halfway thru the night and break up
@FeelingEuphoric: HIM: whatcha thinkin’ about? ME: *thinking about how polar ice caps are melting yet Santa still gives naughty children coal instead of a clean, renewable resource alternative* …oh, nuthin’