@Storminika

Why do people knock on a locked public restroom door? And what is the person inside to say? “who is it?”

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@StarWarsProblms

Leia: I love you.

Han: I know.

[gets frozen in carbonite]

[two years pass]

[gets unfrozen]

Leia: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN “I KNOW?!”

@Social_Mime

Waiting for a mannequin with a gut so I can really see how that shirt will look on me.

@Donnie_Fairburn

“Son, hey son”
Yeah dad?
“Know why we named you Adopted?”
*Sighs* Because I’m adop-
“BECAUSE YOU’RE ADOPTED”
Good one dad
“I’m not your dad”

@jazmasta

“Boop”

– Zebra walking past a self service checkout.

@chuuew

ME: You’re a silly sausage aren’t you?
SAUSAGE: [peering over spectacles] I may have acted out in my youth but that’s not what defines me.

@TheMichaelRock

You can now take small knives with you on planes, but my 4oz bottle of mouth wash is dangerous. Got it!