@sincir3000: why do people with two hands order drinks one at a time?
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@HenpeckedHal: Me: "As a single dad, I find that--" Her: "Uhhh, we're married." Me: "Right, but I'm the only dad."
@TheBigBatman: Wife left a note on the fridge it says "It's not working, gone to my mom's" I opened it and opened a beer, it's cold, the fridge works fine?
@AmericanGent69: If someone insults you, the best revenge is to just ignore them and pretend it never bothered you. Although arson works too.