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@Sickayduh: WHY IS IT CALLED "CAPS LOCK"
AND NOT "CAPITAL PUNISHMENT"
@chuuew: [planning heist]
Me: We'll need the element of surprise.
Neil deGrasse Tyson: [appears] Actually, such an element does not exist. Hi, I'm Ne
@Brianhopecomedy: I checked my phone while I was mowing the lawn and now we don't have a garden.
@Puercotron: HER: Are you a dog or cat person?
BRAIN:*be cool, she seems pretty great*
ME: Whatever you want to eat is fine.
BRAIN: *nailed it*
@Deno_Tron: Roommate has date coming by later and asked me to clean bc he's not home. So I made a Princess D shrine in his room
@Robert_Beau: My sister thinks macadamia nuts is an STD.