@_steamy_mac: Why on earth would I start making good decisions now?
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@JasonLastname: Sees friend from highschool. Gives friend a big hug. Refuses to let go of friend. Becomes siamese friends.
@DanMentos: *orders a medium pizza* *opens box* PIZZA: I've contacted your late grandmother. She wants you to know- *eats pizza*
@NewDadNotes: Cellmate: what did you do? Me: robbed a bank. Cellmate: nice! how’d you get caught? Me: [lights a cig and takes a long drag] I stopped to put all the money facing the same way.