@Tmoney68

Why “Trojan” condoms? Didn’t the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing.

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@Ristolable

Hi, I’m a college professor. Years ago I wrote a terrible book no one wanted. Anyway you have to buy it for 80 dollars

@TheNardvark

She said that having a successful marriage is all about making sacrifices so I threw her into a volcano.

@Whatevah_Amy

Me neighbor and I just exchanged nods acknowledging we’re both wearing the same outfit as yesterday.

@robfee

Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck, no one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth.

@GarrettCake

HEY PIGS STOP TRYING TO SWALLOW ENTIRE APPLES YOU KEEP DYING

@Quartzjixler

A mother bear defending her cubs but it’s me defending the fresh pan of bacon from other hotel guests at the breakfast buffet.

@TheBoydP

Not to brag but I can keep up with the fast part of the chicken dance…

@Sims_was_here

My alphabet soup is full of typos. Go home Campbells; you’re drunk