Why would Sally sell seashells by the seashore? There are plenty there that are free. Just walk and you are bound to find at least 40. Idiot

You Might Also Like


[two coworkers walk into my office]

Coworkers: Hey! It’s your two favorite people here to ask you a question!

Me: Where?



student: can i go to the bathroom

teacher: *slams revolver on desk* i don’t know, can you


First woman that gave birth to twins was prolly like “????????”


Police Officer: i will arrest anyone who had a hand in this

Puppeteer: [visibly sweating] oh no


and one last joke for the day. And I will be off driving back to Claremont for two shows. Have a beautiful day.


Instead of a flask I keep a small kitten in my jacket pocket that I pull out for a quick pet whenever I need a pick-me-up.


I was like, “How many times do I have to repeat myself? I feel like a broken record!”. They were like, “What’s a broken record?”.


I would explain it to you but I’m all out of puppets and crayons.


People hate me at B’way musicals because when the characters break into song, I always shout, “You don’t have to do this. Just talk to us.”