@Fredzipfel: Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It's not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color
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@dshack8: So then I said, "Spit on it first, then see if it'll fit." ...And that's why my wife no longer allows me to help our son with puzzles.
@pplwtching: Ever notice you can hardly touch something that just came off a grill, but yet a fly can land on that MFer like its room temperature?
@SaltyCorpse: I took my 16 year old's phone away for a week and I'm 100% sure I'm very sorry about what she did.