We’re just never going to talk about the fact Mufasa and Scar are brothers but have entirely different accents?
*wife runs back into our house which is on fire*
What are you doing!?
W: I just want to straighten up a little before the firemen get here
You Might Also Like
I don’t think people understand the potential ramifications when they say to me “just be yourself”.
Her: You’re so skeptical of everything.
Me: I can’t believe you just said that.
me: [slides bank teller a note]
bank teller: what’s a “roblery”
Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people’s cars saying “sorry for the damage.” Film reactions. Profit.
when my dog starts eating grass I tell him “no bud that will make you pukey” but he’s seen me down tequila like I’m trying to dissolve my intestines so he can eat a little roadside salad
It may look like I’m a sloppy eater but really I’m just teaching my dog about trickle-down economics…
You can tell a lot about a person based on what they use as a gender-neutral singular pronoun.
one time in an oral argument the other guy made a latin legal joke I didn’t get, but the judge didn’t get it either so he just sounded like a moron while being smarter than both of us