I bet you the first person to invent puzzles was a woman that ripped up a picture of her husband.
wife: we are doing christmas with my family this year
remembering how me and my uncle got in a fist fight over whether the grinch is british: that’s fair
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the problem with being nice to people is you end up getting invited to their wedding.
There should be a branch of the government that just helps people who get stood up.
I’ve been practicing Social Distancing my whole life.. Just sayin.
me: i love pillow talk
me: what the hell
When someone asks why you’re single, tell them you’re overqualified.
To claim your prize, create an account and password.
Ugh this will take forever, nevermind.
I still remember the childhood pain of having to wear a sweater over my Halloween costume, so don’t say I don’t know tragedy.