@murrman5

[wife yelling in waterpark]
“BRENT SOMEONE IS STEALING THE CAR”
[top of huge slide] K IM STILL GONNA TAKE THE SLIDE DOWN CUZ IT’ll BE FASTER

[wife yelling in waterpark]
“BRENT SOMEONE IS STEALING THE CAR”
[top of huge slide] K IM STILL GONNA TAKE THE SLIDE DOWN CUZ IT’ll BE FASTER

- @murrman5

You Might Also Like

@Reverend_Scott

Cop: Know why I stopped u?

Scientist: No

Cop: How much science u do tonite?

Scientist: Just one-[test tube falls from coat]

Cop: Get out

@patnspankme

There’s no I in team but there is an I in marriage. There’s also ME, AA and RAGE.

@CrackYouWhip

Based on the rate of sagging pants, it is predicted that by 2017, people will just pull their pants behind them with a rope.

@justabloodygame

[Scooby & the gang catch a regular guy]
“Let’s see who this ghost really is!”
No! Wait, I’m not-
[rip off face]
*gasps* “OLD MAN SKELETON?”

@Tommassh

*looks through telescope*
*telescope thinks you’re looking at him and waves*
*you wave at Jupiter behind*
*telescope awkwardly lowers hand*

@Book_Krazy

Me: OMG, Bill and Cindy got divorced!!!

Hub: I know! He’s got a fresh slate. That guys livin the dream!

Me:…

Hub:…his dream, not mine

@NinjaFuneral

Someone outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I feel like it would take longer than that…

@jonnysun

*wakes up before alarm goes off*
please be 5am please be 5am
*checks time*
2:34pm, februrary 25, 2054. NOOOOOOOOO

@panmidwest

ME: you really put the cute in executione-

WARDEN: alright hit the switch