@WinterRae82: *wipes blood off hands with napkin* I said no onions
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@PleaseBeGneiss: God: you’re my son Jesus: do I have super powers :D God: you can turn water to wine, walk on water, uh bread Jesus: :/ God: ...fish Jesus: so who’s my enemy God: Satan. he has shapeshifting, fire, rock n roll, charm Jesus: wow that’s cool :( God: oh he’s super duper cool
@BriarSlyMadness: You can tell A LOT about a Woman's mood just by looking at her hands... ...for example...If she's holding a gun? She's probably pissed.
@beefman138: Wife : The neighbours are banging on our front door again. Me : Why can't they do it in a bed, like normal people?