With trump being a potential candidate I feel like the Simpsons are sitting on their couch watching an episode of us

You Might Also Like


If a neighbor rolls up in a golf cart to your new house, he’s either the really fun neighbor or he’s your new HOA overlord.


“Mr. President, N. Korea is threatening to bomb your birthplace”

“Why, there’s nothing for them in Keny-”

“HAWAII, sir”

“Right, that’s wh


Me to Hitman: in the bedroom. He is big.

Hitman*pulls gun & enters* where is he?

Me: on the wall!

Hitman: that’s a spider

Me: kill it!


Mom I’m running away! No I don’t need a jacket! Mom no I’m fine I don’t need a jac- mom! No I don’t need you to pick me up later mom! MOM!



TRANSFORMER WIFE: Honey, this is silly. I’d never cheat on you.

TRANSFORMER HUSBAND: Okay….hey, when did we get that wardrobe?


Him: I don’t see nothin’ wrong-

Me: Let me just stop you right there *takes out Grammar Police badge, issues double negative citation*


The worst is when you’re on a cruise ship that turns into an Autobot to fight a sea monster and you had a decent game of shuffleboard going


Her: The problem with men is they only ever want one thing!

Me *nodding wistfully* a sequel to Ratatouille


Mechanic: Start it up and let me hear it.

*starts car

Mechanic: Oh that doesn’t sound right.