Women, don’t tell us about your boyfriend. He’s a guy. We know what he’s like.

You Might Also Like


i finally learned that stocks are the birds that deliver ur baby so follow me for more finance tips


Remember when you first joined twitter and you had no idea how to RT or what favstar was and remembered what your family looked like?


If you ask a haunted doll if they’re possessed they have to tell you.



G: Super important
A: k
G: And their spit tastes delicious.
G: But they’re so *clenches fists* angry


ME: Would you like a snack?

4: No. As a pure mathematical object, I require no physical sustenance.


[electric chair]
“Any requests for your final minutes?”
“Yeh, I want the last episode of Lost explained.”
*acquitted on a technicality


The tiny little pocket on a pair of jeans is great if you want to only be able to access your coinage by doing a handstand at a register


[first day at coaching job where I lied pretty badly on my resume]
ok guys, get out there & do some of those *looks at clipboard* slum danks


I like to sit in the hotel hot tub with a bunch of potatoes, peas & carrots. I introduce myself as Stew.