Women, don’t tell us about your boyfriend. He’s a guy. We know what he’s like.
You Might Also Like
If you’re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
Me: I’m an actor
Date: Oh that’s cool!
Me: Have you seen “No Country For Old Men?”
Date: I love that movie!
Me: Yeah it’s awesome. Anyway, haven’t booked any roles yet.
How to paint a live flamingo:
1. Get a live flamingo
2. Paint it
Boss: After working here for 38 years, what was the highlight of your career?
Me: [shrugs] Glen brought his dog in once…
Losing weight doesn’t seem to be working for me, so just gonna concentrate on getting taller
I’m gonna be a professional farmer when I grow up. I’ve been wanting to get in that field for years.
*texting with girls*
Her: I <3 you
Me:[throws phone in disgust but picks it up and texts back angrily] you’re less than 3
Her: I feel a special connection between you and I.
Me: I think you mean between you and me.
Her: I don’t mean either now.
I have friends who do charity work for U2.
They’re pro Bono.