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@juliussharpe: Women, don't tell us about your boyfriend. He's a guy. We know what he's like.
@neiltyson: Never seen a bar fight break out while people are drinking wine. Beer, yes. Hard liquor, yes. But not wine.
@TheOneTrueDisco: If I died and went directly to hell it would take me a month to realize I wasn't at work.
@Benoo_Brown: Jenny isn't messing around
@uhhhhhoksure: Alexa, make me look good naked.
@k_lli: A guy was honking at a car ahead of him to speed up at 6AM so I followed him bc his job must be amazing if he's that excited to get to work.