Tuna = the chicken of the sea, worms = the noodles of the ground, Penguins = butlers of the south.
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I’m forever disappointed that a group of squids isn’t called a squad.
If you made her sweat, sweat till she can’t sweat no more, perhaps you should have taken a water break. Dehydration is dangerous.
I spend most of my time resenting people who never had to use a typewriter.
I’m 28, and to this day, my dad asks if I still listen to “shouty music”
I call my husband current…
He likes it better than number two.
Jane: I miss England
Tarzan: Me not know you do beauty pageant
Me: ‘I just want to do something spontaneous.’
Combustion: ‘We’ll see.’
Me: when can I start trusting news on social media again?
Them: April fools ends midday
Me: April fools?
My son, frantically calling and texting, as if life depended upon it.
He’s brokered world peace?
Severed a limb?
Celebrating an international business deal?
How does one make tacos.