Work from home? I don’t even work from work.

You Might Also Like


I’m no architect, but I don’t think it’s possible to build a city on rock and roll.


[Jesus on the cross]

*texts with 1 hand* “um dad y hav u 4saken me wtf”

*5 hrs pass*

“new phone. who dis?”


When you’re dragging a boat full of sailors to its watery doom then suddenly remember you left the oven on


What if all your muscles can taste but your tongue is the only one you usually put food on


“I’m sorry you feel that way” is a bad apology. You need to be more specific. Next time try, “I’m sorry you feel the need to share that with me.”


“It’s pronounced poor-shah, not por-shh.”
“Ok, got it doo-shah.”


Turns out that the best way to find a flat head screw driver is to pretend to look for a phillips one.


DOCTOR: studies show that social media use reduces attention span
ME: that’s hard to believe
DOCTOR: are you checking your phone?
ME: what?


Thanks, Word-Of-The-Day, I’m already familiar with “plateau.”