[Working in a hospital]
ME: Well, this guy’s autopsy is done
NURSE: You mean tonsillectomy
ME: Uh oh

You Might Also Like


We’d like to sincerely apologize for booking the Karate Convention on the same day as the Rare Wooden Boards Fair


“Expose yourself to Art” they said

“Art will tase you and call the cops on you” they didn’t say


I made a grown man cry today in court.

But yet I can’t get my kids to clean their damn rooms.


Me: Babe will you love me when I’m old & fat.

Wife: I sure do.


me: hey everyone, this is steve. he’s danish

steve: hi

dan: *eyes narrowing* he’s nothing like me


“Of all the cheeses, you are my all-time favourite.”

Me, to whatever cheese I’m currently eating.


It’s sad how many people out there are not getting the lobotomy surgery they need


I’m sorry baby, but me & you are not going to work out.

We are going to watch tv.