@ChipKellysBalls: Would bet there's a math equation that can tell how many kids a person has by measuring the amount of Cheerios on the floor of their car ...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Fredzipfel: Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It's not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color
@RxitWounds: POLICE! OPEN THE DOOR! What's the magic word? [Cut to them back at the station staring at a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off]
@bourgeoisalien: Sometimes to take a break from frightening election news, I watch something far less horrifying like 'The Shining' or 'Silence of the Lambs'
@ArfMeasures: Me: I don't know how to hold this baby Her: Head held high Me *proudly* I don't know how to hold this baby