“Would it have killed you to brush my hair once in a while?”
-my daughter going through old photo albums

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I don’t know what the big deal is.

Putting my toddler to bed is easy…

In fact, just tonight, I did it 25 times.


Stalkers drive by your house…
I actively pursue my passion and show up with tacos and beer.


Squiggly line squiggly line space
Squiggly line squiggly line space
Squiggly line squiggly line space

~me reading Arabic DM


[Troy in the olden times]
“WTF is that?”
A wooden horse
“It’s not full of soldiers is it?”


“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and being tagged in a super unflattering photo.”


Straight women in lesbian bars think everyone wants them when we’re really just staring because we can’t figure out whose ex you are.


Be the first thought on her mind when she wakes up & the last before she sleeps… unless she’s plotting your murder… then don’t be that.


Husband: We need to cut back on spending for January. Just stick to the necessities, you know?

Me: *placing an order for snow boots for the dogs* absolutely


[in Starbucks]

“It’s Ian with one i”.

“We only need your first name Mr Wivwanaye”.